30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 27

Day 27: Do You Often Accept Compliments? If Not, Why?

This is something I am working on. I am not the best person at receiving compliments. I tend to follow up a compliment with a negative about myself. Deviating from my normal habits that stem from of self-criticism, doubt, and fear is not easy. I catch myself, even at this stage of my life where things are going great, with negative thoughts. I am working full-time, going to grad school, modeling on the side, and blogging. You’d think I have it all together, but I have my days, really bad ones. I have to evaluate my thinking, comments, and actions.

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❤ ❤ Paris ❤ ❤

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❤ ❤ Shellie ❤ ❤

I’ve written extensively about my first photo-shoot experience with Solight Photography. I wrote an entire blog about the experience and working with Shellie (photographer) and Paris (MUA), two individuals  who have consistently guided me and embraced me for who I am. But, when I first looked at my photos, I could not believe it was me. I refused to believe that I could be beautiful. Beautiful was always for another girl. In that moment of self-doubt, I began to criticize myself with inner thoughts like, “You have a crooked smile in this one,” or “Your boobs just look way too big here! I mean, you look disproportionate!”

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This self-doubt has been embedded in me since I was a child from the comments I heard growing up by my mom. A little personal disclosure, my mother is a very hard-working woman. At the age of 13, it was just me and my mom. And, I don’t hate her. I love my mother, but we don’t see eye-to-eye sometimes. The best way I can describe it is that she was just ill-equipped to talk to me about body image. That’s why it is imperative for me to continue to challenge society’s beauty standards, even those within my family. I want girls and boys to know their worth is beyond measure. There is no number that will ever be high enough to quantify the resilient being you are.

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XOXO Chica Rosita

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