Day 27: Do You Often Accept Compliments? If Not, Why?
This is something I am working on. I am not the best person at receiving compliments. I tend to follow up a compliment with a negative about myself. Deviating from my normal habits that stem from of self-criticism, doubt, and fear is not easy. I catch myself, even at this stage of my life where things are going great, with negative thoughts. I am working full-time, going to grad school, modeling on the side, and blogging. You’d think I have it all together, but I have my days, really bad ones. I have to evaluate my thinking, comments, and actions.
❤ ❤ Paris ❤ ❤
❤ ❤ Shellie ❤ ❤
I’ve written extensively about my first photo-shoot experience with Solight Photography. I wrote an entire blog about the experience and working with Shellie (photographer) and Paris (MUA), two individuals who have consistently guided me and embraced me for who I am. But, when I first looked at my photos, I could not believe it was me. I refused to believe that I could be beautiful. Beautiful was always for another girl. In that moment of self-doubt, I began to criticize myself with inner thoughts like, “You have a crooked smile in this one,” or “Your boobs just look way too big here! I mean, you look disproportionate!”
This self-doubt has been embedded in me since I was a child from the comments I heard growing up by my mom. A little personal disclosure, my mother is a very hard-working woman. At the age of 13, it was just me and my mom. And, I don’t hate her. I love my mother, but we don’t see eye-to-eye sometimes. The best way I can describe it is that she was just ill-equipped to talk to me about body image. That’s why it is imperative for me to continue to challenge society’s beauty standards, even those within my family. I want girls and boys to know their worth is beyond measure. There is no number that will ever be high enough to quantify the resilient being you are.
XOXO Chica Rosita