30 Day Self-Esteem Challenge: Day 14 & 15

So, it’s a combo challenge today. I missed yesterday’s posting as I am working out the details and planning for my upcoming pin-up photo shoot. It’ll be the first I ever do so I am nervous and excited! Wish me luck!

Here goes…

Day 14: What Do You Think of Your Laugh?

My laugh is a lot like my sneeze. I know that sounds like an odd comparison, but it’s varying. I can literally be the person laughing out loud or chuckling to myself softly. When I laugh, there’s this euphoric feeling. No matter how bad my day has been, when I laugh, it all seems to fade away just for that moment. They say laughter is the best medicine and I think there’s some truth to it. While laughter may not be a cure to an ailment, it is definitely comforting. Think about it. I’ve found myself laughing at some very dark moments in my life, perhaps a coping mechanism of sorts, but we all have those.

In my studies, I have found that it is when we become dependent on these coping mechanisms like an addiction, that’s when it can become dangerous to your well being. How can you not become addicted to your laughter though? I mean it feels good to laugh after a stressful day,  but there are many other forms of release: exercise, practicing mindfulness, meditation, dancing, writing, anything that can keep you stimulated physically and mentally.

When I think about my laugh, I think of it in terms of my experience at the moment. If you ask my family or friends they’d probably be able to give a better description as to its sound and frequency. It’s a trademark for most people. I don’t believe I have a consistent laugh, but friends may think otherwise.

My final thoughts on my laugh is that I love laughing. I enjoy laughing and experiencing that moment. It’s not to say that I don’t enjoy a good cry too; believe me I do! But laughter fills your heart with all the warm and fuzzies people talk about.

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Day 15: Why Do You Think People Are Attracted To You, Either Friend Wise or Romantically?

Wow! Let me get that out first! That’s a very intensely worded question. I mean it practically puts you in the hot seat! You can either sound completely conceited or way too modest to be honest. I’ll try my best to be authentic. 😉

First, I’ll share some of my recent posts on social media…

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Do you get the picture? I’m pretty confident on social media. In face-to-face interactions, I am a bit more timid. I’m working on that. It takes me a little bit to warm up, but when I am comfortable, I am very personable. I love to joke around, take pictures, talk about random things like Japanese horror flicks, and go on food-truck adventures! I love to eat! Like Brittany Gibbons  said in her book  Fat Girl Walking, “I’m good at it.”

Back to the question, I would  have to say people may find me attractive because of my confidence. I wholeheartedly believe that the greatest outfit you can rock is confidence and people respond to that. I’ve received an immense outpour of positive feedback from family, friends, and strangers online about my recent photo shoots. I’ve heard the nice compliments and the borderline creeper ones. Yikes! I’ll admit it feels good to have someone recognize your beauty, but it feels even better when they value what you have to say.

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That leads me to why my friends find me attractive. What I hear the most from my circle of friends is that I’m a good listener, supportive, honest, loyal, and caring. I sound awesome by this point don’t I? You want to be my friend, lover, stalker perhaps by this point? Eh? Eh?! Any takers?

Well, I’m about to burst your bubble because part of this challenge is not only to raise your self-esteem, but evaluate it, even the ugly parts about it. I had a very low sense of self. I’ve been honest about that in previous blogs. I didn’t think I was pretty or worthy, I was flailing as far as career goals. I was feeling pretty pathetic and crying a river of tears. My only ray of hope was my relationship, a person who consistently told me I was brilliant and beautiful.

So, I am human and I am flawed; I am those things and more. But, I am also evolving. Change is never easy, and it’s been scary. I am aware that I am beautiful in mind, body, and spirit. I am also aware that I am flawed. I don’t always make the best choices, my body image has been a consistent battle throughout my life, and I’ve held a very dark view of the world, human race, or God sometimes.

This is the best answer I can give. My friends, exes, current partner, and family may have a different point of view. They’d have a better answer than me honestly, but you’re asking so I’m putting out there.

peace

XOXO Chica Rosita

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