30 Day Self Esteem Challenge: Day 10 & 11

So, I missed a blog posting yesterday because I was at my niece’s quince, a traditional coming-of-age birthday celebration in the Latino community for a 15-year-old girl. It was my day off to enjoy time with family. By the way, she was gorgeous in her shimmering teal colored dress, the bodice embroidered with an assortment of glistening beads. I remember when she was only a baby, and even at that age, her vivacious spirit was apparent.

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I’d have to say my favorite moment was during her court dance when she frolicked over to her dance partner and jumped into the air where he caught her in his arms. Her tiara fell and she quickly grabbed it with her hand. Good catch girl! Like the vibrant young lady she is, she laughed it off and continued to dance. I thought it was the most powerful metaphor for her journey, coming into an age where you will fall and you can either stay down or get right back up! There is no doubt in my mind she is the latter.

This leads me to today’s challenge which about your being.

Day 10: Why Are You the Way You Are?

Unlike my niece, my spirited self does not come naturally. I remember in my quince celebration being quite shy, and I didn’t dance most of the night. It just wasn’t in me. I’ve grown into a more outspoken and lively woman. The experiences I faced from domestic violence in my home as a child and body acceptance as an adult shaped who I am today.

I feel that I am an empathetic person because I am able to understand what it feels like to go through great struggles, more poignantly traumatic ones. But, while I empathize with people, I am also one to challenge you to come out thriving, to be a survivor. I didn’t let my experiences hold me down from going to college or take on any endeavors.

I always knew I wanted to experience what the world had to offer. So, there was no doubt in my mind that I would leave home and never return, except to visit family and friends.

Now that I accept both my mind and body as worthy, I take on new ventures like my blog and modeling. I still have a lot of work to do as far as healing, but my awareness keeps me in check. I listen to feedback, I try to be conscious about my choice of words, I encourage other women, and I do my best to give back to my community.

Day 11: Do You Like the Way You Are? Why or Why Not?

Over a year ago, I would have said “No” to this question. I suffered from low self-esteem. It wasn’t until I started graduate school as a counselor-in-training that I started taking steps toward self-love and self-care. This lead me to take risks like a glamour and boudoir photo-shoot and enter into a plus-size modeling competition.

Every step I’ve taken this year has been at its core, a form of self-care, doing something that I love for me. Taking on these ventures makes me see the world in a more positive light. While there are wars, abject poverty, and a lot of hate in this world, I know that there can be a lot of good. In my sphere, I can make a difference for myself and others.

So, do I like the way I am? The answer today is yes. I am growing to love the way I am more everyday. I don’t like my choices sometimes or my moods everyday, but more often, I do like me.

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XOXO Chica Rosita

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